
by David Klein
Let’s get this clear: songs named after years (e.g., “1999,” “Paris 1919″) do not qualify as candidates for the “19″ trophy. If I’m mad enough to keep pursuing this exercise in musical OCD onward for the remainder of my human existence, then I assure you that His Royal Purple Badness will have sole possession of the vaunted “1,999″ spot, and that John Cale will perch regally atop “1,919,” perhaps wearing a jester’s hat. But I’m trying to impose a bit of order here, and I feel it’s imperative to strictly interpret the meaning of a number unless circumstances force me to do otherwise. Since I have unearthed a small basket of “19″ songs, I feel no need to open up the floodgates for the likes of Messrs Cale and Rogers Nelson, not to mention Iggy (“1970″), Smashing Pumpkins (“1979″), Robyn Hitchcock (“1974″), Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons (“December 1963 (Oh, What a Night”) and many, many more. Where would it end?
The Rolling Stones’ “19th Nervous Breakdown” is the obvious frontrunner here: classic song, classic band, classic period of the Stones’ career. But let’s consider the field. Steely Dan’s “Hey Nineteen” is also a classic. Certainly one of the smoothest and slyest songs in the Dan’s oeuvre, this is the tale of an aging Lothario who laments that the teenage girl he’s trying to woo doesn’t even know who Aretha Franklin is. Resolution comes in the form of the old reliable— marijuana and tequila — but it’s the song’s leisurely, slinky groove that really intoxicates. In 1976, a mega-selling band like Steely Dan could get away with a hit song extolling the virtues of Cuervo Gold and “fine Colombian.’ It would take almost 10 years before Tipper Gore and her cronies started putting warning labels on records. And you have to admire Fagen and Becker’s prescient use of product placement a full decade before Sigue Sigue Sputnik sold advertising space between songs on Flaunt It. I’m sure the Cuervo people would have licensed the song had it not been for the reefer reference.
The Eagles of Death Metal’s “I Got a Feeling (Just Nineteen)” is a pumped-up, precoital victory dance built around a couple of sludgy chords, Jesse “The Devil” Hughes’s campy falsetto vocals, and the band’s signature “stripper drum beats.” While this competitive field forces me to award it best original screenplay and not best picture, special kudos goes to Eagles for one of the best numerically titled rockers of recent years. Additionally, just to be exhaustive, the numerically monikered Old ’97s of Dallas share something in common with Warped Tour veterans Buck-O-Nine, Thin Lizzy vocalist Phil Lynott, and lo-fi kingpin Smog: namely, songs called “Nineteen.” How about that?
Meanwhile, in the bizarro universe, Paul Hardcastle’s “19″ grabbed the top spot, despite having one of the most unlikely opening lines of any major musical hit: “In 1965, Vietnam seemed like just another foreign war, but it wasn’t.” Not quite “Well, since my baby left me/I found a new place to dwell,” now, is it? Nevertheless, bizarro music columnist D Kleinfelder argued that the sample-happy “19,” based on words from a TV documentary about war veterans, incorporated an audacious use of then-novel sampling technology, constituted a serious attempt — and a danceable one, no less — to raise consciousness about post-traumatic stress disorder, and hewed closer to numerical definitiveness than the Stones song, with its “19th.” Kleinfelder also stated that “19″ sounded better coming out of Bryan Adams’ “18 ’Til I Die” than the Stones, as well as better leading in to Lee Ann Womack’s “Twenty Years and Two Husbands Ago.”
As you can plainly see, Mick & Keith and the boys have to win this one. During a brief but fertile few years in the mid-’60s, Stones songs were imbued with an unmistakable Englishness. This record comes from that brief but bracing era. By the end of the decade, the distinctly English locale of Out of Our Heads (’65) through Flowers (‘67) had been replaced by the “ballrooms and smelly bordellos/and dressing rooms filled with parasites” of Exile on Main Street (1970). But for a few years it was all Lady Jane and St. John’s Wood, windscreens and Union Jacks. Not that the music was genteel or anything; the narrative viewpoint was occasionally tender, but more often downright nasty.
the Rolling Stones – “19th Nervous Breakdown”
The venomous “19th Nervous Breakdown” is as mean-hearted as any of the best misogynistic Stones songs. It was apparently inspired by the same woman (Chrissie Shrimpton, the sister of the model Jean) who inspired musical hate notes like “Stupid Girl” and “Under My Thumb.” Mick eviscerates her on all fronts, from her childhood to her current status in London society. It’s a harsh takedown of a woman who could only be English, by a man who could only be English.
And what a slice of sheer perfection it is, from that very first alchemical explosion at the beginning, when one guitar line slices in for two bars before being joined by a second phrase (which I imagine would have made a great riff for the doorbell at Keith Richards’ castle), to create an intricately knotted loop of sound. Bass and drums kick in, and the song hurtles forward. Aided and abetted by Charlie Watts’ jittery cymbals, that jarring corkscrew lick right before “Here it comes,” the marvelous middle eight (“Oh, who’s to blame/That girl’s just insane”) and Bill Wyman’s dive-bombing bass runs in the fadeout, it’s safe to say that character assassination has rarely sounded this good.
Numerology is our pal Dave’s ill advised quest to find the definitive song for every number from one to a hundred. He’ll probably coast on teen angst for awhile, but there are rough times ahead.
Previously: No. 1, 2-4, 5-7, 7 (counterpoint), 8, 9, 10/11, 12/13. 13 (counterpoint), 14/15, 16, 17, 18
Not even an honorable mention for “Julie’s Been Workin’ for the Drug Squad” by The Clash? Feh!
Magister Ludicrous- June 14, 2007 @ 12:23 pm
Since there’s no 19 in there, DK would never allow it. Unless you mean as an example of a character assasination song?
Jeff K- June 14, 2007 @ 2:16 pm
Magister is referring to the lines, “Ten years for you/19 for you/and you don’t get out for 25/that is if you’re still alive.” Excuse my omission. I would like to mention, honorably of course, The Clash, who put the numeral 19 to great use in their own version of a character assassination song, “Julie’s In the Drug Squad,” from the controversially produced Give ‘Em Enough Rope. A great usage of 19, no doubt, but alas, it’s not in the song’s title (unless perhaps, on a bootleg, as “Julie’s in the Drug Squad, Take 19.”) Little-known, 19-related fact about Topper Headon: During the band’s historic stint at Bonds in NYC, the Clash drummer discovered Kellogg’s Product 19. To this day, it is still his favorite cereal.
david- June 14, 2007 @ 2:32 pm
Not a clash man, it was lost on me…
Jeff K- June 14, 2007 @ 2:37 pm
A thousand pardons for violating the title rule.
Magister Ludicrous- June 14, 2007 @ 5:26 pm
David,
This is your best yet…..glad you saw fit to mention EODM…and well-reasoned argument for choosing the Sterns….I mean Stones.Brilliant, refreshing, slightly geeky…..its all YOU baby.
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