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May 17, 2006
Retrohump Day – Selling Out!
There was a time when rock bands regarded commercial deals as an intoxicating pestilence to their integrity. Product shilling was the ultimate no-no. Touring dingy bars in a crusty van and rejecting corporate gigs were essentials for maintaining honesty. It was honorable, and probably smelly. Indies and punk rockers in particular preached the ethos of not selling out.
These days Sonic Youth appears on the Gilmore Girls and indie outfits suck the corporate teat for cash and publicity in practically every car commercial on television. Almost silly to think the Flaming Lips’ Peach Pit performance was a defining musical moment for my generation. I doubt ten years from now anyone will regard Modest Mouse rocking the Bait Shop in the same way.
This edition of Retrohump unearths classic commercials from overworked families, contrived boy bands, and rock legends. Playing celluloid clubs on teenage dramadies is not the same as unconcealed product endorsements, but I’m sure Ian Mackaye hates it all.
The Monkees
(Kool-Aid)
Before crashing through walls became fashionable, the kids were very lonely. Naturally the folks at Kool-Aid suggested befriending powdered drink mix for spontaneous desert parties. They say the original idea for Coachella was spawned from this commercial, “oh yeaaaah!”
Rolling Stones
(Rice Krispies)
Contrary to popular belief, Bill Gates was not the first to feature the Stones’ music in product placement. Kellogg’s beat nerdy billionaire/malaria hater by 30 years and $12 million less. However, I think the real revelation is the unfailing consistency of snap, crackle, and pop.
Jackson Five
(Alphabits)
Do you think Michael Jackson succumbs to murderous rage upon seeing a box of Alphabits? Those tricky letters always spelled red rum in his milk, I know it.
David Bowie
(Pepsi)
If rock truisms related to Scientology, David Bowie has reached the status of level 8 operating thetan. The man can unapologetically do as he pleases with zero concern for his veneration. Its enough for him to shit in a bodega bathroom near [insert up and coming band]’s downtown show and Manhattan bloggers are all over it. Why wouldn’t a soft drink maker dress him in a monkey suit while working the levers of the Weird Science set? Evidently a nip and spill of sugary beverage, short circuits and the “Modern Love” soundtrack is all the Thin White Duke needs to create the perfect woman. Don King hairstyle and vivacious legs to boot! Eat your heart out Iman.
Previously: Jack White's Coca Cola commercial
Tags: Retrohump, Monkees, Rolling Stones, Jackson Five, Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Kool-Aid, Rice Krispies, Alphabits, Pepsi,
Posted by Merry Swankster at May 17, 2006 11:35 AM
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