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June 13, 2006
Rivers Cuomo Graduates! | MP3
Like Donna Martin before him, Rivers Cuomo, Weezer frontman, shy guy, and born-again virgin, has graduated. When not destroying the once promising legacy of Weezer, Rivers attended Harvard on and off since 1995. Cuomo earned a Bachelor's degree in English and bedded brainy co-eds at coke fueled Phi Beta Kappa parties. If by co-eds and blow you mean making the honor roll.
Joking aside, Cuomo can look forward to steamy, albeit rusty, coitus soon as he is scheduled to get married to his Japanese fiancé next week. I can only assume his bride is the girl in the picture because she is asian and Japan is a country in Asia. Goddamn you half Japanese girls.
Congrats on your pursuit of academic excellence and finding love. I hope these milestones further your role as the most boring person in music. Begs the question, does Harvard Square truly hold all inane?
No word on celebratory graduation shirts.
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[MP3] Weezer - El Scorcho
Remember when you were seventeen and Weezer kinda disappeared and Pinkerton was the CD you defended to all your "Blue Album" only friends? This was your favorite song. Going out to the future Mrs. Cuomo. Good luck with your man. I have a feeling he may be a little backed up.
//Weezer - site
//Weezer - Pinkerton - buy
Previously: Jodie Foster - Lose Yourself (Penn Commencement)
Tags: Rivers Cuomo, Weezer, Graduation, Harvard
Posted by Merry Swankster at June 13, 2006 08:05 AM
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