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April 04, 2007
Numerology: No. 1
by David Klein
While a vital contingent of the MS community has been busy obsessing about the greatest records of the ‘90s, over here in Obscurity Land, I have been doing some obsessing of my own. Not in response to March Madness, mind you—this idea has been working its way into fruition for years now, since I first heard Anna Domino’s “88,” in fact. As I listened and fell under the song’s spell, I immediately decided that it had to be the best song with 88 in its title that will ever be written. I started thinking about other songs that own their number. “Strawberry Letter #23” -- has to own 23, right? The best 23 song ever. We should retire its number. To own your number is a unique honor. I had to come up with a list, a long list, a number line. THE number line.
It would require some OCD-like tenacity and stretches of idle time, and fortunately I had both. People said it would be easy for a while, in the low numbers, but Christ, when you get to like, 34, forget it. These people had a point. It is not hard to come up with songs in the single digits. But I had already set my sights on 100, and I was not to be deterred. And I’m glad I ploughed through, if only just to 34, because I would not want to be missing the rough grace of Charley Patton’s “34 Blues” in my life.
All kidding aside, the process led me to a number of musical discoveries in my searching, including the fabulous “Sixty Nine Moles” by George Dorn Screams. (Anyone? Anyone?) I was determined to avoid weird little instrumentals called, like, “48 Beats” from some has-been electronica outfit. I was determined to come up with a quality list: Paul Hardcastle’s “19” over “19th Nervous Breakdown”? Nah…There was a moral imperative to come up with the best list possible, to make some hard choices. The process has served to create some great, random couplings: cheek-by-jowl juxtapositions that arose out of the random imposition of numerical order on my own skewed knowledge and preferences of 100 years of music. But enough of my yakkin’, Let’s boogie!
Beating out a panoply of strong contenders (U2’s “One,” “One (is the Loneliest Number),” come swiftly to mind), this track is one of the most infectious in the long career of the brothers Mael, the LA duo who began as Half Nelson in the early ‘70s and have made good, bad and ugly records ever since. They never really hit it big in their native land, and I’ll admit they are an acquired taste, but if you appreciate audacious, hyper-clever music, in genres ranging from disco to glam, you might acquire it too.
Sparks pretty much blew my mind when I first witnessed their act—pre-puberty, at soccer camp, on Don Kirschner’s Rock Concert. The prancing, falsetto-voiced, staccato singing Russell and his winsome, Hitler-moustached, keyboard-playing brother Ron made such a strong visual and aural impact on me. One of the songs they sang included the words “subterfusion,” “coup d’etat,” and “Denise” (the name of the girl I was obsessed with at the time)—all before the first chorus. The guitars were fat and glammy, the keyboard line was haunting and somehow childlike. Needless to say, when I got back from soccer camp I bought the new Sparks album, Propaganda, which I still consider the first album I ever bought (it was actually Aqualung by Jethro Tull, but that was because someone introduced me to Tull. This Sparks thing was my own discovery).
Giorgio Moroder produced this track, which naturally pulsates like a highly calibrated soul mechanism. If you’ve never heard Sparks, this will give you a good idea of the band’s charms. And since we have to start at 1, (I toyed with “Less Than Zero”), let’s start at a high and exalted place. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
Sparks - "the Number One Song in Heaven"
Posted by Jeff Klingman at April 4, 2007 09:10 AM
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Comments
Well David,
I wondered how you could trump your stellar work toiling in the fields of Obscurity. With this project, my good man, you have truly bit off something worthy of being masticated thoroughly...and found an outlet for your boundless energy, acres of free time, and slightly-disturbing OCD tendencies.
And btw, if you're gonna talk about great "19" songs, the winner is obviously "Just 19" off the latest Eagles of Death Metal. 19th Nervous Breakdown has always been one of the weakest songs in the Stones canon, and if you chose Paul Hardcastle, you would be an apostate and subject to beheading....
love,
jonny
Posted by: jonny at April 4, 2007 01:03 PM
Great fun. Looking forward to further posts. I'm wondering though, what exactly is the criteria for said "quality list"?
Posted by: ms lurker at April 4, 2007 05:35 PM
A good point. A quality list has to contain quality artists: the songs have to adhere to a certain standard. To the extent possible, I have labored to find songs by real artists that happen to fulfill my admittedly personal agenda. Occasionally, you have to settle a little. And quality is of course subjective, but the first 10 songs traipse from Wire to PIL to Love to Yo La Tengo, so you kind of have to know it won't suck.
I'm glad to know you'll be watching.
Posted by: skysby at April 4, 2007 06:31 PM
Proof that no one is reading this column!!
On this most Radioheadcentric site, it's hard to believe I was not blog-flogged for not mentioning Radiohead's "2+2=5" in my ostensible list of definitive number songs.
You see, it's harder than it looks...
Posted by: david at April 22, 2007 06:24 PM
I mean, I guess you could have mentioned it, but as far as 5 goes, I'd take Iggy or Bowie over that one...
Posted by: jeff at April 22, 2007 08:02 PM
I wouldn't mess w/the 5-spot either; I was thinking more of "2," for which Radiohead would have been a solid match-up against the Fall.
Posted by: david at April 23, 2007 08:17 AM
yes, that is my frontrunner for the song from Hail to the Thief to go furthest in our Radiohead song matchup. A very solid choice.
Posted by: Keith at April 23, 2007 11:52 AM
