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April 09, 2007
Numerology: ..2..3..4!
by David Klein
Although the world is teeming with “2” songs, I had a hard time pulling the trigger here. “Two of Us” by the Beatles, “It Takes Two” by Rob Base, “Just the Two of Us” by Bill Withers—and songs you love to hate, like “Two Tribes” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Blur’s “Song 2.” There’s that blasted U2 again, with “Two Hearts” (Beat As One), the Boss weighs in with “Two Hearts Are Better Than One,” and of course, “Nothing Compares 2 U” (which loses points for the non-numerical usage of 2) and the list goes on. Mission of Burma almost got the nod for a shimmery incantation called “Trem Two.” But in its willful obscurity (neither trem—short for tremolo, presumably—nor two—the number after 1—are ever mentioned), it does not fit the bill. To me, a song that mentions its number, especially in the chorus, will always win out over a song that happens to have the number in its title. (Unless it’s by Stereolab.).
So here’s a delectably dark and truculent seether from the Fall, circa 2000, that could almost pass for a Pixies song were it not for the inimitably slurred doggerel of Mark E. Smith. As is typical for Mr. Smith, only discrete snatches of lyrics are comprehensible, but he certainly growls out the ostensible chorus, “Two Librans…reflect” with deranged-preacher urgency.
There’s “Three” by Massive Attack, “Three Days” by Jane’s Addiction, “Three or Four” by New Pornographers, “Three Hours” by Nick Drake and quite possibly your favorite “3” song, (Oh, you’re a “Three Times a Lady” man?) but none could really compare to Wire’s “Three Girl Rhumba,” right down to its audaciously distinctive title. I know I said it’s better for a song to name its number, but in this case, for purely subjective reasons (are there any other kind?) it’s not necessary for Colin Newman to actually sing “three.” Wire secures the no. 3 spot by dint of a number (a prime number) in the title and lyrics that show a healthy numerological obsession. (If it needs any further justification, “Three Girl Rhumba” put Justine Frischmann’s nieces through preschool.) This conundrum helps establish a sensible precedent as we go forward: the less arbitrary the number, the stronger the case that can be made for its inclusion on this list. I think I can live with that.
“Open your eyes/Think of a number
Don’t get sucked under/A number’s a number”
May these words guide us in our numerological quest.
Amen.
Public Image Limited - “Radio 4”
It is better if a song mentions the number in its title than if it doesn’t. But of my top three contenders for “4,” two were instrumentals (“4” by Aphex Twin and “Four Sticks” by Led Zeppelin—and the other one, Neighborhood #4 (7 Kettles) by Arcade Fire, similarly doesn’t mention the number at all). In the non-instrumental category was “Four Letters” by Volcano Suns. But somehow, this uncharacteristically restrained piece, the closer on Metal Box, edged out the competition. Equal parts stately and ominous, “Radio 4” would sound right nestled onto Side 2 of Bowie’s Low. (I know I’m dating myself with that “Side 2” reference.) Extra points for inspiring the name of a pretty cool band. Let’s call this a palate cleanser; five through seven zap this list like a cattle prod.
Numerology is our pal Dave's ill advised quest to find the definitive song for every number from one to a hundred. It looks easy now, but there are rough times ahead.
Previously: No. 1
Posted by Jeff Klingman at April 9, 2007 11:29 AM
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Comments
Don't forget Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4". That's good for three spots!
Posted by: adam at April 9, 2007 12:29 PM
David,
I would argue that 3 Girl Rhumba paid for Justine's (and all of Elastica's) career-wrecking heroin habits...but that's another story.
I love to argue, but so far I can't argue with any of your selections. I also heartily concur with all your esthetical/ethical reasoning....for a frickin' change.
Here's a way-too-early nomination for "21-Guitar Salute" by Dropkick Murphys.
I am going to slake my thirst with a guanabana nectar whilst listening to the 5 Man Electrical Band.
Love,
Jonny
Posted by: jonny at April 9, 2007 02:48 PM
"Metal Box" is one of the greatest agro, white boy dub recordings of all time....
Posted by: bopst at April 9, 2007 04:25 PM
3 feet high and rising- one of the best LP's.
Posted by: w at April 9, 2007 10:16 PM
That's not the game, W. "The Magic Number" might have been a contender with a more logical title...
Posted by: Jeff K at April 9, 2007 11:09 PM
this is great. i'm from a different generation- listening to many of these songs for the first time, going on the numbers ride with you. Interesting choices. But, number 4? I had to listen to it a couple of times just to make sure I wasn't just listening from a bad mood. No, it just sucks. It stinks on ice. Absolute Crap. An egregious offence to the noble number 4.
Posted by: ms lurker at April 11, 2007 12:25 PM
No one was ever wishy-washy about PIL and that's how Johnny likes it. To him, your post is a standing O.
Posted by: skysby at April 11, 2007 10:03 PM
Shocked, stunned, but mostly bewildered at the omission (dare I say, glaring omission? I dare! I dare!) of "These Three Sins" by Gomez.
Don't come crawling back when you need "78 Stone Wobble" to get you out of tight spot.
Posted by: Liza at May 1, 2007 01:45 PM
i don't want to dabble where i am unwelcome, and i can see how difficult choosing the best of each number would be but... for the number three: "3 speed" by Eels from Electro-shock Blues. or maybe "Three Peaches" by Neutral Milk Hotel off of On Avery Island. I know ONA is not as good as In the Airplane... but there are some really good songs hidden in the shit.
on the four arguement: "untitled 4" by sigur ros from () and the song i cant believe didn't get a nod: "Friend is a 4 letter word" by Cake from Fashion Nugget.
Posted by: dan vaughn at May 2, 2007 10:09 AM
I think () is ruled out by the very nature of the no-frills song titles. They aren't being cute with calling it "Untitled track 4" when the entire album is titled the same way...no link back to the number - a key criteria item for this crazy project.
Posted by: Sebastian at May 2, 2007 04:20 PM
Thank you, Sebastian. You are now an officially deputized member of the Numerology Song Police.
PS...All good suggestions in recent posts! 78 Stone Wobble indeed! (And I had forgotten about that one.)
Posted by: david at May 4, 2007 03:44 PM
Honored -> *curtsy*
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