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May 24, 2007
Numerology: You're Sixteen, You're Beautiful, and You're...KISS?!
by David Klein
I never realized just how many 16 songs there are in this world. As anyone with a cursory knowledge of number songs knows, “16” songs grew in abundance in the 1950s, when girls had sweet sixteen parties, with 16 candles on their cakes. “16 Candles,” a 1957 hit by the Crests, inspired the 1984 movie of the same name, which itself became a cultural touchstone, albeit briefly, back when the whole world belonged to Molly Ringwald and we only lived in it. “You’re Sixteen” by Johnny Burnette, was remade into a hit by Ringo Starr, at the start of his hot streak in the early ‘70s. Songs like Neil Sedaka’s “Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen” and “Only 16,” a hit for Sam Cooke, tend to emphasize the youth angle (“She was too young to fall in love/and I was too young to know”) If you read between the lines in the ever-salacious Chuck Berry’s “Sweet Little Sixteen” you can surmise that all the cats don’t just want to “dance” with the budding nubile in question. No discussion of “16” songs would be complete without “Sixteen Tons,” a country classic that everybody from Johnny Cash to Bo Diddley to Stevie Wonder have covered (“You load 16 tons and what do you get/Another day older, deeper in debt.”) And let’s not forget that quaint ditty from The Sound of Music, “Sixteen Going on Seventeen.” On second thought, let’s.
Sixteen was no longer sweet by the time the ‘70s rolled around. Iggy’s stomping “Sixteen” from Lust for Life is twisted and carnal in the extreme, while Pete Shelley of the Buzzcocks was so enamored of 16 that he wrote the caustic, knotty “Sixteen” as well as the more straight-ahead “Sixteen Again.” And in the ‘80s there is the poignant “Sixteen Blue” by the Replacements. I know it’s blasphemy, but I always liked the rockers more than the heart-on-your sleevers by Mr. Westerberg. Sue me. The Chills, one of my favorite bands of all time, had a song called “16 Heartthrobs” which was one of the lesser songs off the sublime Brave Words LP.
There is a slew of songs entitled “16 Days”: from erstwhile Golden Palominos vocalist Lori Carson, Modern English of “I Melt With You” fame, and Ryan Adams’s former outfit, Whiskeytown. And the number is still hot, as recent songs by No Doubt and Le Tigre (both called “Sixteen”), the Decemberists (“16 Military Wives”) and Fall Out Boy (“A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me”) attest.
As always, though, I go with my gut, if indeed I have a gut feeling, and thus the winning16 song is one that is deep in my blood, with decades of enjoyable listens behind it. It’s a song that always got me going and made me want to dance around (as good a barometer as any). While contemplating Kiss for the overrated band/underrated song query recently tossed to me by my esteemed colleague with the paisley iPod case (Mr. Klingman) I came to the conclusion that while there are many negatives you could hurl at Kiss, overrated is not one of them. Yes, they have legions of fans (an army, I heard) willing to lay down their lives for the Knights in Service of Satan, (apparently, that’s what Kiss stands for) but you don’t find too many people praising the band’s musicianship, the deeper meaning of “Cold Gin” or the complexity of their arrangements. Some people just like going to the circus.
I have enjoyed a few Kiss songs in my time, but found most of their output a bit too lunk-headed and party-hearty for my liking, even in the pre- Lick it Up years. Nevetheless, there was a time when I could draw each of their faces in ballpoint, and if I had to name a favorite Kiss member, it would have been Ace. I even saw the band play, on a triple bill with the J Geils Band and Mahogany Rush, at an outside gig at the long-gone Roosevelt Stadium in New Jersey. I remember dutifully standing up and singing along during “Rock and Roll All Nite” but I wasn’t all that captivated. I think I was too far from the stage to fully appreciate what they were all about.
“Christine Sixteen” was always one of the good, good Kiss songs, maybe their best. It’s just flat-out fun, a bouncy pop number with a sweetly stinging Stones-y guitar lick and a satisfying arrangement that makes it the ideal song to listen to on your way down to the Dairy Queen after a little league game. All the dopey Kiss hallmarks are here: the lumbering vocals, the adolescent lyrics (“She’s been around/but she’s young and clean”) even a bonus dopey spoken narrative (“When I saw you coming out of school that day…”) and yet it’s hard to resist. Maybe it’s the complex call-and-response (Christine! Sixteen! Christine! Sixteen!) Maybe it’s that saloon piano going ‘clang-clang-clang-clang.’ Or maybe it’s just those three drum hits the set off the chorus. I know some of those “sweet sixteen” songs have more cultural significance, and I know the ‘Mats song is deeper, but I can’t help myself, and besides, this isn’t about cultural significance. It’s about finding the song for the number that just feels right.
* Random fact about “Christine Sixteen”: The 1977 single’s B-side, “Shock Me,” was covered in multiple deconstructive versions by Red House Painters.
Numerology is our pal Dave's ill advised quest to find the definitive song for every number from one to a hundred. He'll probably coast on teen angst for awhile, but there are rough times ahead.
Previously: No. 1, 2-4, 5-7, 7 (counterpoint), 8, 9, 10/11, 12/13. 13 (counterpoint), 14/15
Posted by Jeff Klingman at May 24, 2007 09:25 AM
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Comments
I was crossing my fingers for the Decemberists on this one.
Posted by: Randall Monty at May 24, 2007 09:29 AM
Was the "boy with the paisley i-pod case" remark some kind of secret Television Personalities reference? Because if so, I'm on to you...
Also, it's probably better that it wasn't if only for unpredictability's sake, but by your previously stated rationale of these songs fitting together like a jukebox, wouldn't Iggy's pervy "Sixteen" go better immediately following Wire?
Posted by: Jeff at May 24, 2007 12:32 PM
I am not such a TVP fan as to know that lyric--it just came out that way. And while it makes sense to put Iggy next to Wire from a thematic standpoint, when you actually listen to the Iggy song after the Wire song you'll find that they don't really go together that well. "The 15th" is cerebral, the musical textures are subtle and seductive. "Sixteen" is just the opposite--it would stand out like a gob of spit on a Rothko painting segueing out of "The 15th" or any song subtle, heavily produced song.
I would maintain that "Christine" doesn't sound half bad coming out of Wire, strangely enough, and since the next few song positions are held by recognizable musical figures from the '70s and '80s, I'll think you'll see a set that does hang together.
David
Posted by: david at May 24, 2007 01:16 PM
Well I guess I'm busted on the point that I didn't actually try the transition.
Oh, and I was referring to the TVP single "the Boy With the Paisley Shirt," which is totally great. I AM that big of a TVP fan that I find signs where there are none...
Posted by: Jeff at May 24, 2007 01:54 PM
what about the replacements sixteen blue?
Posted by: Anonymous at July 26, 2007 03:42 PM
It's in there dog, read the sucker...
Posted by: Jeff K at July 26, 2007 04:08 PM
Love Gun was one of their best albums, that whole period 76-78 the band was on a roll and at the top of their game.....too bad they completely wiped out soon afterwards, but they'll always be one of the biggest bands in the world, even if today they definitely need to hang it up...
Posted by: Rocker at August 6, 2007 06:01 AM
