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May 17, 2007
Numerology: the 14th and "The 15th"
by David Klein
Would that there was a title track to Paul Westerberg’s 14 Songs, because I am facing a dearth, a lack, a paucity and so on, of proper 14 songs. Were it not for the fact that I have a totally ace 14 song up my sleeve, I might have already experienced my first spate of night terrors related to this numerological quest. In my zeal to provide some kind of a range, however, I have turned up the following: “Fourteen” by the sometimes delightful, occasionally un-listenable Beat Happening, in this case, in blatant un-listenable mode; “14 Years” by Guns ‘N Roses, whom I could never fully embrace, the somber “14 Days” by Nick Lowe, and “Feb 14.,” a cry in your beer number by the Drive-by Truckers.
Good thing “14 Cheerleader Coldfront” by Guided By Voices arrived unexpectedly on my desktop the other day, like one of the cans of Schlitz that Robert Pollard lobbed high and far into the crowd when I saw GBV play an outdoor show many moons ago, in Central Park. It’s an unadorned little number off the originally self-released Propeller, sung by sometime vocalist Tobin Sprout (whose name could almost pass for a GBV song.) Like most GBV songs, the lyrics are either inscrutable or simply nonsensical, like text derived from William Burroughs’ cut-up technique, and that’s part of the charm. But the slightness of the 90-second song, the lack of any real cheerleaders, and the arbitrariness of the use of 14 here render it an also-ran. The fact is, there’s only one really great 14 song, and it’s Television Personalities’ “14th Floor,” the first single from a seminal band that was shambolic before your favorite band was shambolic. This is what Chuck Berry would have written if he had been a young Brit, living in council housing in 1977. (I realize that, in a certain sense, this is an ill-advised simile, but come on, take that leap of logic with me.)
I'm looking down on London/But there's little I can see/Cos I'm living so high up/And it looks so small to me/And I'm feeling so frustrated/Cos the lifts are out once more/And when I get home from work tonight/I gotta climb 14 floors, I tell you mate...
14th floor Oh no, my face don't fit 14th floor Just a number on the council list
14th floor Oh no, there's nothing to do/14th floor It's got a roof, it hasn't got a view
Television Personalities - "14th Floor"
Crooning to the MS public, I humbly intone, “Fifteen minutes with you/Well, I wouldn’t say no.” Don’t get me wrong—I understand why Morrissey went with the far more evocative “Reel Around the Fountain” as the song’s title, but “fifteen minutes with you” is the song’s main hook, and it would have made my job a whole lot easier. What I’m trying to say is, I see no other choice but to break my own rule, big-time. I have said many times that ‘tis better to refer to the number in question then to never refer at all. After breaking this rule at 3 and 4, I have adhered well to it since then, but blast it, what better 15 song is there than Wire’s “The 15th”? And no, the Fischerspooner cover version could not be construed as better (although it is damned good, and more fun than Mike Watt’s cover version on 1996’s Whore: Tribute to Wire, containing My Bloody Valentine’s sizzling cover of another numerically named Wire song that seems all but a shoo-in later on in this list.)
Andy Warhol’s concept of 15 minutes of fame serves as the basis of a number of 15 songs. The late and sorely missed Kirsty MacColl gave us “Fifteen Minutes,” a charming, Kinks-ish hate-note to sell-outs, bozos and others “whose mediocrity excels,” from her finest record, Kite. Johnny Boy, of “The Generation That Bought More Shoes…” fame has a “Fifteen Minutes” too. The Blue Aeroplanes, one of the only bands that ever got anywhere with a vocalist who spoke rather than sang (imagine a more versatile Art Brut led by a declaiming debauched poet type) have a track called “Warhol’s Fifteen” which has a lot in common with a Neil Young song except lines like “Whatever eye is trained upon it/your face is the future/a smoother transaction is hoped for/than the hollows beneath their skin.” Early glam queen Suzi Quatro and ‘90s house proponents Sheep on Drugs are among several outfits with songs called “15 Minutes of Fame.” And an early Snow Patrol song that could be the template for a lot of recent Snow Patrol is called “Fifteen Minutes Old.” Still…I’m not convinced that any of these approaches the icy majesty of Wire’s “The 15th.” In fact, when it comes to icy majesty, accept no substitutes.
“The 15th” breaks every rule. It doesn’t say the number; it doesn’t even say much of anything discernible. The subject of the song, the vague “you”—could be an idea that was never expressed. Maybe the 15 somehow relates to the album’s title, 154. Maybe it’s a bunch of clever nonsense. Enigmatic is hard to pull off. Michael Stipe, for example, managed when he mumbled, but once he enunciated, and started singing about the flowers of Guatemala, a lot of the mystery was gone. “The 15th” shows how to maintain the mystery, with words that convey an almost alien-sounding logic, even though we cannot grasp them.
Reviewed, it seemed/As if someone were watching over it
Before it was/ As if response were based on fact
Providing, deciding, it was soon there
Squared to it, faced to it, it was not there
“The 15th” is like the monolith in 2001. It just is.
Numerology is our pal Dave's ill advised quest to find the definitive song for every number from one to a hundred. He'll probably coast on teen angst for awhile, but there are rough times ahead.
Previously: No. 1, 2-4, 5-7, 7 (counterpoint), 8, 9, 10/11, 12/13. 13 (counterpoint)
Posted by Jeff Klingman at May 17, 2007 10:55 AM
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Comments
Interesting post, and yeah, "The 15th" is ace.
Posted by: Jeff at May 17, 2007 01:23 PM
Apparently, Wire was on one of their periodic songwriting bursts, and this song was the 15th one they wrote in that batch. Hence "The 15th". Terrific song. I love this series of posts!
Posted by: Dolph at May 17, 2007 02:02 PM
I'm guessing Bowie's "TVC15" went the way of "12XU"?
Posted by: Jeff K at May 20, 2007 04:52 PM
Indeed, Law 12XU of the Melodic Numeric Space-Time Continuum is correctly invoked here . Saying "one-five" instead of "fifteen" strays too far from the song's essential fifteen-ness for it to be the ultimate 15 song. Still, a great tune (w/a great live version from SNL w.Klaus Nomi that's eminently youtube-able) and one that deserved mention. While on the subject of overlooked songs, I found two on Eligible Bachelors by the highly esteemed Monochrome Set: "On the 13th Day" and "Cloud 10."
Posted by: david at May 21, 2007 10:06 AM
Some of your readers may enjoy finding out about many more versions of Television Personalities 14th Floor that have been released on the 10 volume TVP tribute series found here:
www.thebeautifulmusic.com
Cheers,
Wally
Posted by: Wally at January 16, 2008 05:04 PM
