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May 23, 2007
Retrohump day - Like a hurricane, they rocked
As I started thinking about what today's Retrohump should focus on I began taking stock on our recent obsessions regarding all things 90s. The wrapped search for Best 90s Album ended with Ok Computer taking top honors - a foreseeable and anticlimactic result that flew in the face of MS writers contrary opinions (here, here, and here). (The current knockout tournament dovetails from there with a search for the best Radiohead song and is still very much in play.)
Runner up and looking up to Ok Computer was that other shocker of 90s heavyweights. The one iconically wrapped with a naked baby fishing for a dream. Naysayers shouldn't get too worked up with the results, because a definitive resolution by Internet voting, no matter what we proclaimed, was never really the intent of the tournament. We probably gained most not from tangible results but from the honest and open discussions beget by the natural desire of publicly justifying a vote. While the elimination format was a great exercise in pseudo-democracy, at the end of the day I doubt we resolved anything. I bring this up because it is hard to argue Nirvana's cultural effect on the world transcends less than anything Radiohead has done, or in all probability, will ever do.
Stock examples of Nirvana's effect on greater culture (for the early-90s layman) include both the dethroning of Michael Jackson from the charts; and splashing a deadly wave of irrelevance on practically every 80s hair metal band. Which brings me to this edition of Retrohump.
Hmm..provide me some flashbacks to the 1980s monsters of debaucherous cheese you say? If you count yourself among the detractors questioning the need to spotlight sleaze-rockers then I must warn you the chances of a future stop on the hairspray wagon of questionably tasteful thematic glory will only increase as we get closer to the hilarity going down at Rocklahoma*. The new 80s hair metal festival serving dual roles as excellent case study for the increasingly niche-based (long tail) world we live in, and a repository for excess Schlitz inventory.
Ratt - "Round and Round"
Countering our typical penchant for the obscure with this!? Gotta keep you kids sharp by inviting perspective into the mix, or Here is a Counterpoint to Obscurer than thou.
Motley Crue - "Live Wire"
You scan a bunch of these videos and they all start looking the same. Tight multicolored leather pants, excessive hip shimmying, accessories galore, heavy makeup... In fact the whole scene is not unlike witnessing a bunch of pre-op transvestites meeting at an S&M club for an androgyny dance party celebration.
Whitesnake - "Slide It In"
Subtlety was never the forte of the 80s. Evidenced here in both title and in David Coverdale's description of Tommy Aldridge being a "thunderous octopus on drums." I might have to repurpose that last analogy someday. Wait for it.
Motley Crue - Live on Countdown Revolution - Australian TV
I take back any past comment claiming I had seen the worst television in the world. I suggest preempting the play click with some Tylenol.
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This swath of awful could go on for hours. Until next time...Rocklahoma baby.
* - If anyone out there is going to this and is interested in writing about it for Merry Swankster.com. Please email me.
Posted by Merry Swankster at May 23, 2007 03:48 PM
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Comments
Ewwww
I’m a dyed-in-the-wool rocker chick, I love my metal. I saw some of these bands back in the day when they were playing the Troubador, Gazzaris, Madame Wong’s West , Wolf and Rissmiller’s Country Club on Reseda Blvd…I can only say one thing…Ewwww. These bands are the worst of the worst.* I can smell the stooopid from here. They sucked then, and they suck even more now. More suckage than a clearance sale at the Hoover Outlet Store. More whiffy than Mr. Lindberger’s ass at the Wisconsin Cheese Mart. Break out the half-shirts, and hair spray your mullet! Hope you’re hungry ‘cause there will be more corn in that festival than all the fields in Iowa. Now, I wouldn’t mind talking about a wish list for a great harrrd rrrock line-up, but I think that will have to be another forum because I don’t believe the swanksters have much love for the metal. But I do appreciate the heads-up because I can’t believe I didn’t know about Rocklahoma. Once again, the Merry Swankster has given me the gift of music information that sets me apart from the hoi-polloi. Hmmm..Hoi Polloi…would’ve looked good with umlats over the “I”s and lightning bolts for the “L”s
*there are actually two or three that are quite good, but for the most part they suck donkey dongs.
Posted by: ms lurker at May 23, 2007 07:40 PM
