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August 09, 2007
Numerology: 28 Songs Later
by David Klein
Like perfect games in baseball, perfect numbers are extremely rare. A perfect number is an integer that is the sum of its positive divisors. Twenty-eight is the second perfect number; six is the first. The early Hellenistic mathematicians were aware of just four perfect numbers, and I feel a bit like one of the early Hellenistic mathematicians. I only know of a handful of 28 songs, (and most of them are far from perfect.) But perhaps, like the hoary number crunchers of yore, I am ignorant of a trove of pickings that will be discovered by future generations.
Let’s leave idle speculation behind for the time being. The eccentric, extraordinarily prolific singer songwriter Hasil Adkins, who died a few years ago after being run over by a teenage punk on an ATV, had a mournful, half-spoken song called “28 Years” on his album Achy Breaky Ha Ha Ha. Vans Tour perennials Buck O Nine have “28 Teeth,” while Lollapalooza second-stagers Sponge have “28 Days.” I wish “28” by the ‘80s outfit Stars of Heaven had more going for it. The Irish quartet was a favorite of legendary London DJ John Peel, releasing a few albums and singles on Rough Trade in the ‘80s, one of which I even own. Unlike the chiming, country-inflected songs the band typically played,“28” (so named because its tempo is twice as fast as “7 and 7 Is” by Love) is rather slight, with a melody that barely registers, much to my disappointment.
Steppenwolf’s place in rock history is secure by virtue of “Born to Be Wild” and its iconic reference to “heavy metal thunder,” along with the band’s other FM radio staple “Magic Carpet Ride.” No one would argue that “28” is as memorable as those tunes, but it’s still a pretty good slice of pumped-up late ‘60s rock with a pounding go-go beat and a laid-back message to offer: “She’s 28 years old tonight/I told her not to fear/it’s all very right.” There’s a bit of de rigueur, mystical hippie gibberish (“Silk on silk/feather in light/make the black/part of the night”) but in the end, “28” is just a tale of lust that ends successfully: “She woke up/grinning with laughter.” Imagine that, and at the age of 28.
Steppenwolf actually shares something in common with our winner. The band released a lot of music in its career, but will always be known for “Born to Be Wild.” Today’s winner—born Antonia Christina Basilota in Philadelphia, and who showed an early talent for go-go dancing—is also known principally for one song. In her case, it was a little ditty called “Mickey,” a massive international hit and, in the minds of many, one of the most annoying songs to ever clog the airwaves.
Toni Basil will never be able to outrun the image of her 40-year-old self as the frighteningly perky, slightly long-in-tooth cheerleader in the “Mickey” video, belting out the song while busting out all those stiff-armed rah-rah moves. It’s fortunate for us in the numerology world that “Mickey” was just the tip of the iceberg—OK, it was the tip and a huge hunk of the iceberg. But Toni Basil lived quite an interesting life before she went platinum in 1982. And let’s just get it straight: she charted three times, so she was no one-hit wonder, either.
Talking Heads - "Once in a Lifetime"
choreography by Toni Basil
Before she became famous singing “Anyway you want to do it/I’ll take it like a man,” Toni Basil had done things many of us only dream about—choreographing the video for Talking Heads’ “Once in a Lifetime,” acting with Jack Nicholson in his classic anti-hero role in Five Easy Pieces, dancing with Davy Jones in the Monkees’ cult favorite Head. And yet, because of that song, that herky-jerky, schoolyard taunt-sounding, aural virus of a song, mentioning the name Toni Basil still generates chuckles and cheerleader poses. To be sure, there’s something ridiculous about a grown-ass woman in a cheerleader costume pretending she’s still in high school, but let’s go back to 1966, when Toni was only 23.
Though “I’m 28” was her first single, Ms. Basil had already been in show business for five years as a dancer and choreographer, so she’d earned the right to sing a worldly lament. (Remember, Alice Cooper was already in his mid-20s when he sang “I’m 18”) Considering that it was written by Graham Gouldman, the multitalented producer and songwriter behind hits for the Hollies, the Yardbirds, and many others, “I’m 28” achieves an admirable level of female angst. In Leslie Gore’s 1964 anthem “You Don’t Own Me,” also in 3/4 time, the teenage singer sets the record straight for her meat-headed boyfriend. I can easily see the spitfire teenager who sings “You Don’t Own Me” 10 years later, as the singer in “I’m 28”: wiser, more cynical, and starting to worry that this whole taking-no-crap-from-men thing might have backfired on her.
Lesley Gore - "You Don't Own Me"
Against a background of keening organs and cymbal crashes, Ms. Basil gets right down to it: “I’m 28, it’s getting late/what have I got to do?” There is desperation in her voice, but there is also defiance. She doesn’t want to end up an old spinster, but like any sensible woman in 1966, she is tired of the games and the bullshit and the roles people want her to play. It’s almost as if she’s just been hit on by the dude from the Steppenwolf song “28,” who told her not to fear, “it’s all very right,” at which point she threw a drink in his face, stormed out and sang this song on the way home.
"Lipstick, pancake, shadow for the eyes/it’s all been advertised/but it’s getting me nowhere."
With a voice this sassy it’s hard to take the singer’s fears of finishing up “alone and in a rocking chair” seriously, but there is no simple resolution to “I’m 28.” The singer’s plea, “what have I got to do?” goes unanswered. Listening to “I’m 28,” you can tell from the throaty wail that it’s the same singer as “Mickey,” but in my mind I see a different vision, one that is infinitely more pleasing. I see Toni Basil clad not in cheerleader garb but in something totally hip (circa. 1966) and belting out this melodramatic little gem for all she’s worth.
Numerology is our pal Dave's ill advised quest to find the definitive song for every number from one to a hundred. The plague of self absorbed twenty-something songwriters should see him through for now, but there are rough times ahead.
Previously: No. 1, 2-4, 5-7, 7 (counterpoint), 8, 9, 10/11, 12/13. 13 (counterpoint), 14/15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26/27
* Painting: "Indescretion #28" by Jean Paul Gotting
Posted by Jeff Klingman at August 9, 2007 01:10 PM
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Comments
I'm surprised there are no rehab songs about "28 Days." I only know that's the length because of that dumb Sandra Bullock movie that I keep flipping to thinking it's the zombie movie.
Posted by: Jeff K at August 9, 2007 03:42 PM
Yeah, you would figure someone like the dude from Stone Temple Pilots or some other person who keeps on trying (and failing) to get straight would have written a song about the 28-day program. It'd probably be full of A.A. slogans and be kind of lame, is my suspicion.
Posted by: david at August 9, 2007 04:40 PM
Toni Basil was in "Easy Rider" which prominently used "Born to be Wild."
Posted by: bobo at August 9, 2007 07:19 PM
Thanks Bobo. Jeez, what kind of crack was I on not to notice that very salient fact? 28 is the nexus point between Steppenwolf and Toni Basil, between Dennis Hopper and David Byrne. That's pretty major. I guess the Hellenistic mathematicians were right: it IS a perfect number. Maybe Jim Carrey should do "28" next.
Posted by: david at August 10, 2007 09:00 AM
Nice detective work here. I will never chortle at Toni Basil again. "Take it like a man", indeed.
Posted by: david'sbrotherjonny at August 23, 2007 05:10 PM
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