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November 02, 2007
Word Association: The Life of Five
From Keith: OST for Donovan McNabb’s Career
Not even in Greek Mythology is there a hero’s tale that could do justice to the complexity that has been the story of Donovan McNabb’s career. The only mythological comparison would be if while Zeus was carrying the dying Heracles to be deified on the Olympic Pantheon that he was raucously booed by 30 drunken Athenians that wanted the gods to pick Achilles instead.
You suck Heracles!
Donovan McNabb’s career is one that has fluctuated between the highest plateau and a sea of what ifs. It is a career that has all the makings of a Disney sports flick that you won’t admit you like. After all, this plot is full of evil characters (Rush Limbaugh), complex love relationships (the Terrell Owens saga), and taking every ounce inside of you and leaving it on the field (Donovan throwing up during the 2 min. drive in the Super Bowl).
However, if modern Hollywood has taught me anything, talent and hard work alone will not translate a beat all odds story onto the big screen. What’s needed is a kick ass soundtrack. After all, without Huey Lewis Marty McFly never gets back to 1985 and without “Gonna Fly Now” Rocky gets levied with a series of health code violations for training in the freezer of a meat packing plant.
Since one of my core musical beliefs is that there is a soundtrack for everyone and every living moment, then there certainly is a soundtrack for the life of #5. In my mind, it might go something like this…
1. Transcendental Jogging Moment when Donovan becomes Number 5
Flying Lesson (Hot Chicken #1)- Yo La Tengo
Sports movies have two parts, a self doubting before and an ultra confident after. In-between there is a three minute training montage where a song slowly pushes the athlete out of bed and then sends him on a reflective jog while the city sleeps. By the time character returns home, he is ready to be a champion.
2. Born to Run (but not because I am a black QB)
Born to Run- The Boss
3. I'm So Bad I Make Medicine Sick
You Can't Catch Me- Chuck Berry
In a Forest Gump/ Benny Hill chase scene, Donovan is juking and jumping over defenders because in the words of Chuck Berry, “If you get too close, I’m gone in a cooool breeze”
4. The Big Hurt
Pressure Drop- Toots and the Maytals
Drop the Pressure- Spank Rock Remix of Mylo
If someone asked me today to put money on the 2002 NFC Championship, I would still hand over a year’s salary to bet on the Eagles. Even though I witnessed that event in a stadium whose ghosts now haunt the parking lot that stands in its place, I still don’t believe the Eagles lost that game. Anyone want to bet?
5. But I try, and I try
Can't Satisfy- Curtis Mayfield
The 2003 Eagles start off 0-2 losing to Tampa Bay once again ushering in a new stadium. Rush Limbaugh takes his shots at McNabb for being nothing more then hype from a media that wanted to see a black quarterback become a star in the NFL. McNabb has a bad hair day and then leads the Eagles back to the NFC championship and to the Super Bowl the next year.
6. Matchmaker and the Resulting Flame
Two of Us- The Beatles
Acquiring TO was like a drunken couple getting married by Elvis in Vegas. It was one hell of a night but you have to expect a headache and bad feelings in the morning. The 2005 train-wreck between TO and Donovan can be described perfectly in the lyrics:
Two of us riding nowhere/ Spending someone's hard earned pay/ You and me Sunday driving/ Not arriving/ On our way back home
7. Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys
Tell Me, Momma- Bob Dylan
It wouldn’t be right to have a Donovan McNabb soundtrack without any mention of Wilma McNabb, though I never understood how in the commercials players could drink hot soup so quickly before they go into the game.
8. Just Let Me Dance to Thriller and Score Touchdowns
It Ain't Me Babe- Bob Dylan
"It Ain’t Me Babe" might be the quintessential song describing Donovan’s relationship to the city and I don’t mean this as an interpretation of the lyric, “I'm not the one you want, babe/ I will only let you down.” What I mean is that Donovan detractors have always found a way to project their own insecurities on the QB. With the media already inserting first round draft pick QB Kevin Kolb in their 2009 Fantasy lineup, I am waiting for McNabb to proclaim for the rest of the season that one he is not Iverson, two he is not Favre, three he is not Brady, and four he is not whatever other people what him to be, he is just number 5 and will continue as number 5.
9. Encore and the Unknown
Garden of Light- Isis
The credits are rolling in this flick but the audience stays in the theater waiting for the sequel to be made.
To Jeff: horrible song/ great lyrics
and for old times...
Posted by Yonah Korngold at November 2, 2007 01:26 PM
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Comments
This is slightly off topic, but did you read that David Lynch and the Scots folk singer Donovan started a transcendental meditation campus called Invincible Donovan University? I think that's awesome.
# 2 made me chuckle, Yonah.
Posted by: Jeff K at November 2, 2007 02:19 PM
That's a great name. Imagine if they play the Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics in Football.
Posted by: Yonah at November 2, 2007 03:15 PM
Talk about your fantasy football--but it's really no contest: the Kerouac squad (known as the KSDP Panthers) would mop the floor with the Invincibles, who would show up in tartan shorts, ready to play the other kind of football. Remember, Jack went to Columbia on a football scholarship, whereas Donovan was an unspectacular, some would say derivative, midfielder.
Posted by: david at November 2, 2007 03:48 PM
But what about Coach Lynch? The play will start, then strobe lights will go off, Kerouac's been recast as Crispin Glover (though they might actaully be aspects of the same man) and there are sinister mascots everywhere. I think DOnovan can cross the goalline aided by such direction...
Posted by: Jeff K at November 2, 2007 03:56 PM
Not so fast--the ref called foul on team trainer Dennis Hopper/Frank Booth for administering an unnammed but illegal gas to his players to get them psyched up.
Posted by: david at November 2, 2007 04:11 PM
That VT game is as sweet as I remember. I'm pretty sure that if you squint, you can see me storming the field.
Posted by: Randall Monty at November 2, 2007 06:08 PM
