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February 22, 2009

Numerology: Take Two

As I mentioned previously, Prof. Klein is a bit of a stickler about getting these Numerology pieces right beyond a shadow of a doubt. Instead of chalking early attempts up to the blogging learning curve like the rest of us, he stays awake at night, shaking with regret that low hanging fruit like the number 2 was not given its proper due. So today, on a date slick with deux, we continue to rewrite history. (JK)

“It takes two to tumble/it takes two to tango

Speak up; don’t mumble if you’re in the combo”

—Elvis Costello

Let me begin with the same caveat I’ve given for all of the numbers that you can count on one hand: There is no definitive song when the offerings are this vast. It pushes the idea of objectivity right out the window when you have so many songs from so many giants of the music world. Some of these are great, and many are very good. Even some of the bad ones (“Two Tickets to Paradise” by the rocker born Edward Mahoney, for example) have some squirmy charm. So the best approach seems to be to break down the glut into some basic categories and zero in on one or two of the most striking examples. So, dear reader, consider this an idiosyncratic survey accompanied by a diffidently offered choice of best no. 2 song ever.

We live in a binary world: Adam and Eve, ones and zeroes, hot and cold, black and white, and lest we forget, good old life and death. Try to imagine a world without opposites and you just might give yourself a brain-ache. Most of life’s critical experiences come in pairs. Take eating dinner, for example: first you’re hungry, then you’re full. Even the basic mechanism of our existence on a cellular level—sodium in, potassium out—is a two-part sequence.

In the world of song, two often means one thing: two people in love. I’d say the majority of two-titled songs refer to love or relationships. Bill Withers had a Grammy-Award-winning hit with “Just the Two of Us” in 1975, which is the kind of easy-listening R&B that only a curmudgeon could resist. Others of this genre include “2 Hearts” by Kylie Minogue, “Two Hearts” by Bruce Springsteen, “Two Hearts” by Chris Isaak, “Two Hearts Beat As One” by U2, “Two Fine People” by Cat Stevens, and the list goes on. My favorite of this ilk is “Two of Us” by the Beatles, a song whose fractious genesis was captured in the film Let it Be. Beginning life as a straight-ahead mid-tempo rocker, the song didn’t really cohere until it was stripped down to its essence: a rustic blend of voices, acoustic guitar, and a simple metronomic beat. It could almost be a campfire song but for McCartney’s active bass lines. While Phil Spector’s production job and general liberties taken on the album Let it Be have been castigated by everyone from the Beatles on down, “Two of Us” has none of the Spectorian bombast that inspired the powers that be to release the pre-Spector version of the record as Let it Be…Naked in 2003. It’s merely a fine and not over-familiar example of the Beatles’ greatness.

the Beatles - "Two of Us"

A number of songs have been titled plain old “Two,” from Ryan Adams to Eyeless in Gaza, Pete Rock to Porter Wagoner, John Cage to Billy Squier, but none are distinctive as songs titled “One,” which is probably why none of them come quickly to mind. Here’s a much richer vein; what I call the Two Nouns category. To wit: “Two Rooms” by the Feelies, “Two Receivers” by the Klaxons, “Two States” by Pavement, “Two Halves” by My Morning Jacket, “Two Tribes” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, “Two Gunslingers” by Tom Petty, “Two Trains” by Little Feat, and “Two Hands” by King Crimson. I’m partial to “Two Sisters,” a Kinks song from the splendid Something Else (1967) that finds Ray Davies casting a gimlet eye on the title characters, the mutually jealous Sylvilla and Percilla. With a jeweler’s precision, Davies captures the change of heart of one of them, the married one, who, realizing she’s better off, “ran around the house with her curlers on.” And the song clocks in at 2:02. How 2 can you get? Another one close to my heart is “Two Librans” by the Fall, a delectably dark and truculent seether that could almost pass for a Pixies song were it not for the inimitably slurred doggerel of Mark E. Smith. As is typical for Mr. Smith, only discrete snatches of lyrics are comprehensible, but he growls out the ostensible chorus, “Two librans…reflect” with the urgency of a defrocked preacher after a night of heavy drinking.

Pavement - "Two States"
the Kinks - "Two Sisters"
the Fall - "Two Librans"

Speaking of heavy drinking, Jim Morrison of the Doors was known to enjoy a wee bit of the old grape from time to time. He was also fond of the ladies. “Love Me Two Times,” a sassy single penned by Doors guitarist Robbie Krieger, was alleged to be a veiled reference to oral sex, but since when did the Doors veil anything? After the Oedipal freak-out of “The End,” you’d think they would just come out and say it. Seems more likely that the song depicted a soldier’s plea to his beloved before heading off to war, which was the explanation offered by Doors manager Danny Sugerman in his tell-all No One Here Gets Out Alive. Also of note on the “two times” tip: Johnny Cash’s “Two-Timin’ Woman” and a slew of other two-timers: mamas, papas, daddys, losers, babys, two-steppers, and turkeys.

the Clean - "Two Fat Sisters"
the Fiery Furnaces - "Two Fat Feet"

A close cousin of the Two Nouns category is the Two+Adjective+Noun category, with songs like “Two Fat Sisters” by the Clean, (a riff on the Kinks song perhaps?), “Two Left Feet” by the Holloways, “Own Two Feet” by the Jean Paul Sartre Experience, “Two Left Feet” by Richard Thompson, “Two Fat Feet,” a sexy two-chord vamp by Fiery Furnaces, and the oft-covered “Two Sleepy People” by Hoagy Carmichael and Frank Loesser. Although it really consists of a compound modifier and a noun, I’m going to insert the slinky “Two Dollar Wine” here, by one of the more unheralded Athens, GA, bands, the Glands. You wouldn’t necessarily think that a separate category for Two-Headed songs would be warranted, but you would be wrong: “Two Headed Man” is by bluesman Lonnie Brooks, “Two Headed Woman” is by bluesman Willie Dixon. “Debbie Gibson is Pregnant with My Two-Headed Love Child” is the work of Mojo Nixon, and there are at least 20 more, with titles like “Two Headed Freap” and “Two Headed Calf” and “Two Headed Alarm Clock.” But it’s really down to two (which is fitting): the moving “Two Headed Boy” by Neutral Milk Hotel comes close, but it’s hard to deny the power and glory of Roky Ericson’s classic “Two Headed Dog,” which wins for Roky’s yowling pronunciation of the title phrase and the sheer oddity of the line, “I’ve been working in the Kremlin with a two-headed dog.”

Roky Erickson - "Two Headed Dog"

The Numeral 2 category runs the gamut: there’s 2 as in “to” (e.g., “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor, “2 Kool 2B Forgotten” by Lucinda Williams) 2 as in part 2 (e.g., “Eye of Fatima Pt. 2” by Camper Van Beethoven, “King of Carrot Flowers, Pts 2 and 3” by Neutral Milk Hotel), 2 as the second song on the record (“Song 2” by Blur). And then there’s 2 as a numeral or as part of a sequence of numbers, a rich subcategory packed with such gems as “5-4-3-2-1” by Manfred Mann, “5-4-3-2 Wave” by Patti Smith Group, “2:1” by Elastica, “2/1” by Brian Eno, “2,4,6,8 Motorway” by Tom Robinson Band, “V-2 Schneider” by David Bowie, “2 H.B.” by Roxy Music, “2cv” by Lloyd Cole and the Commotions, and the knotty, mathematically questionable “2+2=5” by Radiohead. And there are probably some bad ones too.

Elastica - "2:1"
Roxy Music - "2 H.B."
Radiohead - "2+2=5"

The Two [insert time period here] category has some fine, eclectic offerings: “Two Seconds” by Laura Cantrell, “Two Minute Warning by Depeche Mode, “Two Weeks in Spain” by Gentle Giant, “Two Months Off” by Underworld, and “Two Years of Torture” by Percy Mayfield. Defying easy categorization is a quad-fecta of lovely twofers: Mission of Burma’s shimmery incantation “Trem Two,” Magnetic Fields’ “Two Characters in Search of a Country Song,” which shimmers in a totally different way, Spoon’s inscrutable “Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine,” and shoegazer classic “You Tear the World in Two” by Pale Saints.

Magnetic Fields - "Two Characters in Search of Country Song"

Palate-Cleansing Two-Song Fact: The most covered two song in existence is undoubtedly “Tea For Two,” a standard by Irving Caesar and Vincent Youmans that the invaluable All Music Guide confirms has appeared on well over 1,500 records.

Too 2 much? OK. Enough. Let’s just do it already. As with no. 1, the essential character of the number must be part and parcel of any song claiming this crown. In the first half of the 20th century, the winning track would have to be “It Takes Two to Tango,” which was popularized by Louis Armstrong, Pearl Bailey, Dean Martin and others. The lyrics of this lilting number are all about the magic of two, as defined by the existential singularity of one:

You can croon to the moon by yourself

Well you can laugh like a loon by yourself

Spend a lot go to pot on your own

There are a lot of things that you can do alone

But it takes two to tango…

Rob Base & DJ Easy Rock - "It Takes Two"

The operative phrase here, “it takes two,” inspired Harlem rapper Rob Base’s single “It Takes Two,” which Spin magazine proclaimed to be no less than the greatest single of all time. While any such declaration strikes most rational people as profoundly hyperbolic, there’s no denying the power of this 1988 single’s groove. This sample-heavy joint has itself been liberally sampled, and Rob Base has been given numerous shout-outs for it. But if I were forced to declare any single the greatest ever, choosing “I Heard it Through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye might not cause me to lose any sleep. I mention this only because Marvin Gaye’s “It Takes Two” strikes me as the best, most two-alicious two song out there. Echoing the lyrical sentiment of “It Takes Two to Tango,” this duet, which was an international hit in 1967, perfectly embodies the alchemy that occurs between two people in love in the alternating verses between Gaye and Kim Weston. Less well-known than Tammi Terrell, Gaye’s collaborator on hits like “Aint No Mountain High Enough,” Weston more than holds her own in this infectious concoction.

HER: One can go out to a movie, lookin' for a special treat

It takes two, baby. It takes two, baby. Me and you. Just takes two.

Marvin Gaye - "It Takes Two"

Numerology is our pal Dave's ill advised quest to find the definitive song for every number from one to a hundred. The higher the digit, the lonelier the climb.

Previously: No. 1, 2-4, , 4 (redux), 5-7, 6 (redux), 7 (counterpoint), 8, 9, 10/11, 12/13. 13 (counterpoint), 14/15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26/27, 28 , 29 , 30, 30 (counterpoint), 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, Footnotes, 57, 58, 59 , 60, 61

Posted by David Klein at February 22, 2009 02:25 PM

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Posted by: Jeff Klingman at February 23, 2009 01:08 PM

Posted by: david k at February 23, 2009 07:15 PM

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